Just a Pancake in: Forbidden Love
by itsmebrandon
Summary: Just a Pancake leads a successful YouTube channel where he posts entertaining Kingdom Hearts fan videos. When he meets the girl of his dreams but realizes that her tastes don't match up with his, our pancake hero will have to make a choice.


(Note: This is a parody fanfiction. Any opinions expressed in this story, especially about the Kingdom Hearts series, do not reflect the author's views.)

(With that out of the way, enjoy this ridiculous fanfiction I wrote, I guess. It's almost not even a fanfiction.)

* * *

Summer had arrived in Daybreak Town- and with it, scorching heat. It was at this time of year that ice cream carts became prevalent around the town, especially in the bustling plaza.

Underneath the burning sun and waiting in line for ice cream was Just a Pancake and his friend, Just an Omelette.

"Boy, it's hot," Omelette said. "I just might get cooked in this weather."

Singed on his sides, Pancake nodded. "I couldn't agree more." He was only thinking of what flavor to get.

"Chocolate this time?" Omelette asked his friend. "That's what I'm thinking."

"Really?" Pancake asked. "I think we should get sea salt. That's definitely the best flavor."

"I agree, it's the best flavor," Omelette started, "but it's the only flavor we get."

Bells rang softly in the distance, around the town's courtyard- like clockwork, they signaled that it was now noon.

"Excuse me?" Pancake asked his friend with skepticism. "It sounds to me like you have a problem with sea salt ice cream."

"...Wh-what?" Omelette asked, confused. "No, I just- I'd just rather have a different flavor for once."

The line had thinned out and Pancake and Omelette were now at the front.

"Okay, what can I get you two?" The ice cream vendor asked the two friends.

"...Hm," Omelette thought. "I guess I'll have-"

"Just give us two sea salt ice creams," Pancake interrupted his friend. In a second, the vendor had pulled out two cones of freezing, sky-blue ice cream, sprinkled with sea salt on top. Pancake was salivating as he exchanged his munny for the two ice creams.

"Unbelievable," Omelette said to himself. He accepted the ice cream cone Pancake was holding out to him anyway.

Suddenly, before Pancake could dig into his ice cream, he spotted a girl walking among the plaza crowd. In a heartbeat, he was smitten- she was a tender beige, like him, only she had grooves so pleasingly spread out across her body. "Wh-who is that?"

"That's Just a Waffle," Omelette said. "She just moved into town a few weeks ago."

"...Just a Waffle..." Pancake trailed off, his mind lost in fluffy, flour-y thoughts. "...And, she's..."

"And she's new here," Omelette repeated. He shook his head and took a bite of his ice cream.

"..." Pancake was stupefied. A beautiful girl like Waffle was here, and he never introduced himself to her!

Pancake only now realized that Waffle was walking over to them. He didn't know what to say. "Why, hello there! I don't believe we've met. My name is Just a Waffle," Waffle began.

A look of confusion came over Pancake, but he responded to her instantly. "Uh, hello! I'm Just a Pancake. It's nice to meet you, Waffle!"

 _No girl ever comes up to me like that,_ Omelette thought to himself with envy. _Perhaps I'm not fluffy enough...?_

"Chocolate? Of course, that's a fantastic flavor," Pancake commented on Waffle's own ice cream cone. She giggled.

"And you like sea salt?" Waffle asked. "I guess we can't all be correct... So, who is your favorite Kingdom Hearts character? Mine is Kairi."

"Kairi?" Pancake asked. He was still in a trance. "Th-that's great... Mine is Riku."

"Equally respectable," Waffle replied. "Say, do you want to spend some time together, later today? I was hoping for someone to show me around."

"O-of course!" Pancake snapped out of his stupor. "Let's make it a date."

Waffle nodded. "That sounds great! We can meet outside the plaza. I'll see you later, Pancake!" With that, she had already left, disappearing into the crowd.

Flabbergasted, Pancake turned to his friend. "Did- did a hot girl just ask me out on a date?"

Omelette nodded, hiding his jealousy from Pancake.

"Oh my God, this is the best day ever!" Pancake jumped for joy.

"So were we going to do the thing or not?" Omelette asked his friend.

"What? Oh, right," Pancake said. He held up his ice cream cone. "Let's eat some ice cream. We are best friends!"

"You are right," Omelette started. "Ha ha ha ha..."

Omelette noticed his friend wasn't laughing with him. Pancake was lost in his fluffy thoughts yet again, thinking only of Waffle.

* * *

Pancake was later at Omelette's house, shooting the breeze with his friend.

"So is Riku really your favorite character?" Omelette asked.

"What? Did I say that?" Pancake asked his friend.

Omelette nodded. "Yeah. And Waffle said her favorite character is Kairi."

"WHAT?" Pancake was shocked. "How can such a pretty woman be so fond of a piece of cardboard for a character?"

"I don't know," Omelette answered. "But you have a date with her later, I guess."

"Barnacles," Pancake said to himself. "How can I date someone with subpar tastes compared to mine?"

It was at that moment that Pancake heard someone talking outside. He looked out the window and saw Just a Waffle talking to another guy. He was big and threatening and covered in rainbow sprinkles.

"Oh no," Pancake started. "It is Just a Pop Tart! What's he doing with my girl?"

"Pancake-?" Omelette started.

Pancake didn't respond. He was listening in on their conversation as they walked by the house.

"...So later tonight, Waffle? By the plaza?"

"Of course, Pop Tart! I can't wait."

"Then it's a date. You'd better be ready for me to butter you up!"

"Oh, you bet I will be..."

That was all Pancake could catch. "Good golly!" He said to Omelette. "That meanie Pop Tart has a date with my girl too!"

"Why do you keep calling her your girl?" Omelette asked. "I thought you were going to cancel your-"

"Never mind that," Pancake interrupted his friend. "I need to find a way to challenge that big bully. I can't let the bad guy win, Omelette!"

"How will you fight him?" Omelette asked, sheepishly.

Pancake got an idea and looked at his friend. "I think I know someone who can help."

* * *

Deep in the woods lived a wise friend of Pancake's- Just a Muffin. She was quite knowledgeable and known for helping her friends in difficult times.

Pancake was in Muffin's house, telling her his story.

"...And then he said that he would totally butter her up!" Pancake finished.

"Really?" Muffin asked. "This Just a Pop Tart fellow sounds like he's quite insensitive to what females really think."

"He's almost as bad as Nomura," Pancake remarked. "Anyway, I'm in a sticky situation, Muffin. Can you help me?"

"Of course, Pancake," Muffin answered. "Just let me think... Hm... I think I know how I can help you."

"What's that?" Pancake asked.

Muffin went to the cupboard and brought out a bottle containing a strange purple liquid. "This potion has the power to give you super duper muscles," Muffin explained. "However, for it to work, you must admit something that is difficult for you to believe. Also, it tastes bad."

"I must admit something I don't like?" Pancake reiterated. Muffin nodded. "Well... I don't think there's anything I don't believe that's true."

Muffin was skeptical of her friend. "Is that really true?"

Pancake thought for a few seconds. "I suppose I can't believe that Waffle likes Kairi so much."

"Can you really?" Muffin asked.

Pancake thought some more. "Actually, I guess I can believe it."

"Perhaps you should admit that Xion is a good character," Muffin suggested.

"No!" Pancake yelled. "I will never say that Xion is a good character... Wait, who was that again?"

Muffin shook her head. "Never mind that. Perhaps you can tell me what Master Yen Sid's name spelled backwards is?"

"That's crazy talk," Pancake responded. "How can anyone figure that out? I've been trying to find the answer for years."

"Well, you must admit something," Muffin told her friend. "...Perhaps you should admit that Axel is prettier than Riku."

"No! I can't possibly say that..." Pancake started. After a begrudging sigh, he yielded. "Okay, I yield. Axel is prettier than Riku."

He took the potion from Muffin and drank it all down. "Blech! This tastes terrible! Nobody warned me of this!"

"Actually, I did," Muffin said with a smile.

In an instant, Pancake's stack began to course with energy. His body grew and his syrupy veins popped out on his top cake. "Wow, I guess this potion really worked," Pancake said, amazed. "Now I have super duper muscles!"

"You can thank me later," Muffin started.

"Sure, whatever," Pancake said, going to the door. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Pop Tart to snap." With that, Pancake left Muffin's house.

Outside her window, Muffin could hear Pancake yell one last thing to her: "Also, Ansem is prettier than both of them!" She smiled and shook her head.

* * *

At the outskirts of the plaza, Pancake towered over the rest of the villagers, who ran from him in fear and confusion. Pancake was looking for Waffle, but most importantly, Pop Tart.

"Hey, you," came a voice behind Pancake. "Shouldn't you be at an IHOP or something?"

Pancake turned to see Pop Tart. "Shouldn't you be populating the home of a fat child?" He shot back.

"Touché," Pop Tart said. "Listen, I have a date with a nice girl here, and I don't need you and your freakish bod grossing us out. So make like a wet towel and slide out of here already!"

Pancake wasn't backing down. "I think you are the one who will be a wet towel when I'm done with you!" He heckled Pop Tart. "I made a date with Waffle first, so make like a bad plot line and go annoy someone else!"

"Afraid not, butter boy," Pop Tart said. He flexed his muscles, revealing a well-sculpted body. "Let's go! You and me!"

"Gladly," Pancake said, flexing his super duper muscles.

And they fought. Pancake slammed into Pop Tart, but Pop Tart pushed back. Pop Tart threw some sprinkles in Pancake's face, blinding him, then punched his gut, sending Pancake flying back. "Your butter is too soft!" Pop Tart yelled.

Pancake recovered quickly, then rushed at Pop Tart and punched him straight in his frosting, sending him straight back until he hit the wall behind him. "And they should change your name to 'Poop Tart'!" Pancake yelled back. "Do you really think you can take me?"

Pop Tart clearly felt weak. Before Pancake could deliver the finishing blow, Waffle appeared from the plaza, rushing in. "Stop, both of you!" She cried out. Pancake stopped where he was in an instant. "What in the name of Walt Disney are you two doing?"

"This bulging loser thinks he has a date with you," Pop Tart answered weakly.

"Actually, this idiot poopface says he made a date with you when we already had one planned," Pancake responded.

"Pancake? What happened to you?" Waffle asked. "You look like you actually work out now!"

"I drank a potion that gave me super duper muscles," Pancake explained. "So that I could set this Pop Tart straight."

Waffle grew angry. "I was only asking him to join us so that both of you would show me around town! I actually prefer underdogs, anyway." She rushed over to Pop Tart. "Are you okay, Pop Tart?" He nodded slowly. "Good. Now let's leave this big lug."

"Sweet! I'm an underdog," Pop Tart said, getting up and leaving with Waffle.

Pancake was speechless. Suddenly, the potion wore off, and his towering figure became a middling figure- his syrupy veins no longer popped out.

Omelette came outside to see what was going on and found Pancake nearby. "Hey, Pancake! What happened? Did you fight Pop Tart?"

"I did," Pancake answered. "But I guess Waffle only likes losers. I bet she would date Ventis."

"But I like Ventis..." Omelette started.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter." Pancake turned to his friend. "I've realized that Waffle is not the girl for me."

"Really?" Omelette asked. He and Pancake began walking back to his house as evening set on Daybreak Town.

"Yes," Pancake answered. "After all, Waffle has more holes in her personality than the entire Kingdom Hearts plot!"

 **The End**


End file.
